Ten Traits of Underearners

"10 Traits of Underearners" an excerpt from the book OVERCOMING UNDEREARNING: Overcome Your Money Fears and Earn What You Deserve by Barbara Stanny Published by Collins. Posted here with permission.

INTRODUCTION

In "Overcoming Underearning, " financial guru Barbara Stanny helps readers change their relationship with money and realize that underearning is often self-inflicted. Stanny's expertise lies in helping women gain financial independence, but the lessons learned in "Overcoming Underearning" apply to both genders.

Stanny, the leading authority on women and money, is a motivational speaker, educator, former journalist, and career counselor. She is the author of two previous books, "Prince Charming Isn't Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money" and "Secrets of Six-Figure Women."

In "Overcoming Underearning, " she shows readers how to: stop undervaluing themselves and underestimating their worth, control self-sabotage, quit living paycheck to paycheck, and become financially empowered. More than just a collection of tips to increase material wealth, the book acts as both a journal and a workbook, incorporating Stanny's belief that changing one's perspective about money takes both "Inner Work" and "Outer Work." The dozens of self-evaluation tools throughout the book give it a personalized edge.

The excerpt is entitled "10 Traits of Underearners," and is an eye-opening description of people who earn less than their potential despite their need or desire to do otherwise.

EXCERPT

"10 Traits of Underearners" by Barbara Stanny
All underearners, without question, share one common trait: a high tolerance for low pay. This is a sure sign of underearning. Yet even that description doesn't tell the whole story. "Low pay" is a relative term. You can make six figures and still be an underearner. Conversely, you can earn far less and not fit that category.

Don't let the term fool you. Underearners can be hard to spot.
What does it mean to be an underearner? To start with, it has little to do with the amount of money you make. It has everything to do with your attitude.

Underearning is rarely a conscious choice. It never leads to a saner or more satisfying life. It always involves self-denial -- not only of money, but time, freedom, impact, and joy; denial of your value, your power, your needs, and your options.

TEN TRAITS OF UNDEREARNERS

1. Underearners talk as if they're trapped.

Underearners feel stuck, as if they have no control over their lives or their time. And they truly believe it. They justify, defend, or rationalize their situations with an array of excuses that block out their options with emotional blinders. They can't see past where they stand. And when they do, they don't like what they see.

I vividly remember a teacher in one workshop becoming almost combative. "I can't leave what I do. I'm raising a daughter. I'm not trained for anything else. I'm not going back to college to type someone's memos. I don't want to have to struggle, start at square one, and work all the time."
"You're painting an awfully dismal picture," I told her. But what got her attention were the two former teachers who had transferred their skills into fulfilling careers. One works for an educational consulting firm; the other is a technical writer.

2. Underearners give their power away.

No wonder underearners feel trapped. They're constantly projecting their power "out there." They blame other people or outside conditions for causing their problems. Or they wait, hoping someone or something will come in and save them. Prince Charming is a favorite for women; the lottery ranks high for both genders.

"I spent my whole life waiting for my shining knight," chuckled a middle-aged woman, who was getting married for the first time. Then with a sigh, she added, "He came without a bankroll." So she came to the workshop. As long as you believe the locus of control lies outside of yourself, all attempts to overcome underearning will be halfhearted or misdirected.

3. Underearners underestimate their worth.

Underearners give away their time, knowledge, skills, experience for free or bargain prices because they don't believe they're worth more.

"It never occurred to me I could make six figures," a graphic artist admitted. "I don't feel like what I do is good enough to make all that money. It's that old 'I'm not worthy' thing."
She described a recent negotiation with a client. You could see others, nodding their heads, had done the same. "I told him my rates were $35, but in the next breath, I said, 'For you I'll do it for $25 an hour.' I didn't even give him a chance to react."

Because they devalue themselves, underearners instinctively settle for less or seek their value by volunteering, in the job or outside of it. There's nothing wrong with pro bono work -- in fact, it's a wonderful gift to those in need -- as long as it's on top of an already satisfying, well-paying job.

Mikelann Valterra, author of "Why Women Earn Less," puts it like this: "If someone is saying I wish I made more money and giving their time away for free, there's a disconnect there."

4. Underearners crave comfort.

I'll never forget my conversation with a man about his newfound success. "I feel like I'm walking around in someone else's body," he said. "I almost want to go back to my old me. This new one is so unfamiliar."

Change, even a dream come true, is rarely comfortable. Underearners will often unwittingly sabotage their success rather than endure the discomfort.

It's astonishing how fiercely we cling to our so-called comfort zones. What a misnomer. These places are anything but comfortable. They're just familiar and predictable.

I was particularly struck by Stephen's perceptive description of his life-long pattern. "If I get too far below my comfort level, I make a big push to get more money. I'll go out and drum up business, call a friend who owes me money, whatever it takes. The reverse also happens. If I make a lot of money, I will spend my way back to my comfort level. Which is where I am now. I hate this comfort level, but it'salmost as if the motivation isn't there to take me higher."

Stephen didn't realize he got something in exchange for his low pay, though at one point he practically admitted as much. "Living close to the edge gives me a sort of adrenaline rush. It goads me into action. But I don't like what it does to my life."

So why doesn't he just stop doing it? Most likely, he can't. Financial turmoil has become his drug of choice. Some people actually get hooked on the havoc wrought by underearning.

5. Underearners are self-saboteurs.

People who underestimate their worth tend to undermine their success. That's why so many bright, talented people can't seem to get ahead. They unconsciously do things that make achievement impossible. They procrastinate, job hop, take on too much, become scattered and distracted. The list is endless.

"I'm always giving away money," one woman told me. "I thought it was bad to be selfish."
"I have so many interests," another said, "I can't just focus on one thing."

And still another declared: "A client owes me a lot of money, but I'm just going to write it off."
These are all people getting caught in their own subtle traps.

"My favorite self-sabotage is telling myself 'I can afford that,'" a woman told me. "I rationalize the hell out of why I need a $200 pair of shoes." She spoke for countless others. Frivolous or compulsive spending and debting are like quicksand. Once you get sucked in, you'll never make it to higher earnings until you start digging your way out.

6. Underearners are codependent.

People who don't value themselves easily slip into codependence, putting everyone else's needs before their own. While it may sound noble, taking care of others at your own expense is anything but admirable. Codependence creates victims.

"It's like I had this 'Use Me' sign on my forehead," said Elaine Hayes, describing her former job in a faith-based organization. "I'd drop everything for someone else, but I had no energy for myself. This is what happens in non-profits. People give selflessly because they're passionate about the organization' s mission. It's the norm. We believe to think otherwise is selfish."

This kind of thinking isn't limited to nonprofits. It's the typical mind-set of most underearners. Attending to everyone else before taking care of yourself is a form of self-sabotage and has been knownto destroy careers, if not lives.

7. Underearners live in financial chaos.

When I ask people why they have come to the seminar, the typical reply is "I'm tired of working so hard and having nothing to show for it."

Underearners tend to live paycheck to paycheck, struggling to make ends meet, going from one financial crisis to another, racking up debt, working incessantly with no end in sight. This even applies to those who are making what sounds like good money.

Perhaps the biggest fear underearners have about earning more is that they'll have no life, that they'll be working all the time. What an irony! No one works harder or longer hours than an underearner.

Carney is a perfect example. She's a single mom, works two jobs putting in minimum twelve-hour days. "My life is ridiculously complicated. I'm working nonstop. I can't afford to hire someone to fix my dishwasher or clean my house. I have to do it. I spend all my 'free' time driving around looking for things on sale."

At some point the truth dawned on her: "You know, it's a lot harder work being an underearner than a high earner."

8. Underearners are vague about money and success.

Underearners use the same methods to manage their money as they do to make most decisions: avoidance and delusion. They often have no idea how much money they have, how much they earn, how much they owe, or even how much they need. They operate by wishful thinking instead of strategizing and negotiating, as high earners do.

And they are just as vague about why success eludes them. I often hear underearners say, as this woman did: "I'm smart. I'm good at what I do. Yet I'm always trying to get somewhere that I can't seem to get to. I really don't know why!"

9. Underearners are anti-wealth.

During an interview with a woman who had made little progress, I asked her how much she'd like to be earning.

"I just don't want an obscene amount of money," she said.
"Why's that?" I inquired, not bothering to ask what she considered obscene.
"I never met a person with an obscene amount of money doing anything but obscene things."
Underearners can be terrible snobs. They're ambivalent or downright negative about money and/or people who have it. They dislike the wealthy, take great pride in living on a shoestring, believe there is virtue in being poor, and criticize those too focused on their finances.

Others are actually ashamed to admit money even matters. One person put it like this: "It's embarrassing to say you want to make money. A part of me thinks that if you want to help other people, it is selfish to want to make a lot of money doing it. Money is certainly not something I want to devote my life to."

And yet no one thinks more about money than an underearner. As one admitted during an interview, "If I earned more money, I wouldn't have to always think about it. I spend way too much time obsessing about where the money is going to come from."

10. Underearners are controlled by fear.

They're afraid of success. They're afraid of failing. They're afraid of rejection, of being judged, of people liking them (or not) because of their money. They're afraid of the responsibility of having more, and the possibility of losing it all.

Some are afraid to even address their finances because "it's so grim and pointless it'll throw me into a tailspin," according to one. And another said: "I'm afraid of what I'll see in my future if I don't change my patterns." Yet she was having trouble changing for fear of the unknown. "And I know," she confessed, "I won't make any progress until I confront my fears."

It is the catch-22 for all underearners. I have to change. I'm afraid to change. But confronting my fear is the only way out.

THE GOOD NEWS

Did you happen to notice what these ten traits all have in common? Every one of them is self-imposed. Every one is something we do to ourselves. Go back and read each trait. Can you see how every one is the result of a choice we made? That's wonderful news. If we create the conditions for underearning to occur, we have the power to change them.

BUT WAIT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT...

Granted, stuff happens. There are indeed forces beyond our control that seem to dictate our life, determine our success: an unpredictable economy, a crowded job market, unforeseen emergencies, "bad luck," personal demands that usurp all our time. You're right. The unexpected is inevitable. Difficulties arise. Life gets in the way. We get sidetracked. Yet every high earner I've interviewed has faced these same forces and still came out ahead.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Barbara Stanny, the leading authority on women and money, is a popular motivational speaker, financial educator, former journalist, and career counselor. She is the author of "Prince Charming Isn't Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money" and "Secrets of Six-Figure Women." She lives in Washington state.

ABOUT THE BOOK

OVERCOMING UNDEREARNING: Overcome Your Money Fears and Earn What You Deserve
by Barbara Stanny
Published by Collins
(ISBN 978-0060818616, 240 pages, hard cover, $24.95)
Available through Amazon.com or directly from the author:

Overcoming Underearning(TM): Overcome Your Money Fears and Earn What You Deserve

Earn What You Deserve: How to Stop Underearning & Start Thriving

When it comes to money, are you controlled by fear? Do you live in financial chaos? Do you underestimate your worth? Are you ready to go to the next level, but can't seem to get there? If the answer is yes to these questions, you may be an underearner.

Underearners are self-saboteurs who never live up to their earnings potential. Underearners tend to live paycheck to paycheck. They rarely balance their checkbooks and are often in debt. Ironically, many work incedibly hard. Yet they are ashamed to admit their money matters to them. They all have a high tolerance for low pay.

The good news is that underearning is often self-imposed. By focusing on overcoming underearning you will not only earn what you deserve, but you can live up to your full potential. With techniques and exercises that have helped thousands of people who have participated in her Overcoming Underearning( TM) workshops, Stanny teaches you five essential steps to financial independence. Once you understand these steps, you will be confident asking for a raise, increasing your prices, or getting a better job. "Now I'm making more than my friends, all because I had the guts to dream and ask for more," said one Stanny fan.

"Overcoming Underearning" is filled with inspiring, real-life stories of underearners who turned their lives around. Stanny brings a message of empowerment and hope to all those who chronically undervalue themselves. "I'm making more, working less, feeling healthier, have more energy, and I'm so much happier," concludes another Stanny believer.

ENDORSEMENTS

"You are worth more than you are being paid right now and Barbara Stanny knows it! In 'Overcoming Underearning, ' Barbara takes you by the hand and helps you earn the money you deserve!" -- David Bach, #1 New York Times best-selling author of "The Automatic Millionaire, " and "Start Late, Finish Rich."

"Barbara Stanny tackles a serious issue for women -- and men: underearning. If you follow her advice and do her exercises, you're on your way to making the money you deserve. Her upbeat, inspiring style will boost your confidence and motivate you to take action."-- Susie Gharib, co-anchor, PBS "Nightly Business Report"

"A woman's health and self-esteem are directly and powerfully linked with her ability to earn enough money. This book will show you exactly how to tap into your ability to do just that."-- Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of "Mother-Daughter Wisdom"

"'Overcoming Underearning' is as close as you can get to a personal coaching session with Barbara Stanny. The combination of inspirational quotes, exercises, and words of wisdom from one very wise woman make it a must-read for nice girls -- and guys -- who want to move from surviving to thriving."-- Lois P. Frankel, author of "Nice Girls Don't Get Rich," and "NiceGirls Don't Get the Corner Office"